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We don't watch the Pet Psychic at my house. I already
know what my ninety pound black lab is thinking.
I'm eating, he's thinking, “Drop it”.
Elayne Boosler
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Dear Elayne, My dog has been so depressed since the Nov. 2nd election, I don't know what to do for her. She is freaked out by the thought of four more years of intolerance, warfare, raping of our beautiful natural resources, and most of all, she was sickened every time she heard, “What's next if we allow gay marriage? People marrying dogs?” Any advice? Sincerely, Dear 49%, My dogs were also sickened by the marriage analogy, as I had already promised them that yes, marrying dogs would indeed be next, fingers crossed. My real hope was that America would become so loving and tolerant that I could marry both my dogs, at least in Utah . “Love thy neighbor” seems to actually mean; “as long as your neighbor is exactly like you”. Everybody else, pay cash. Even if we got the dog marrying proposal on the ballot, how would they fight that? “What's next, people marrying cats?” See? It never ends. We can't honestly promise your dog there will be any trees, clean air, or even any America as we knew it left in four years, so take lots of pictures, and do not give up the fight.
Dear Elayne, Last Saturday night, I saw you hosting the In Defense of Animals awards at Paramount Studios in Hollywood . Yet when their email newsletter came out this week, everyone was mentioned but you. Why don't you let these organizations use your name to further their cause? Julia M., Sherman Oaks
Dear Julia, I was as surprised as you to see the omission. I put in two full days of writing, and waived my five figure corporate fee for such events. When I hosted their Africa fundraiser in Portland last year, I thought it was an oversight, but now I realize when you make it look easy they just don't know what you have given them. As long as the animals benefit, that's the thank you for me.
Dear Elayne, Where did the expression “work like a dog” come from? They don't seem to work very hard to me. “Sleep like a dog” would be more like it. Michael B., New York Dear Michael, Well, no doubt they can sleep, but they can work too. If any of my agents had ever been as focused and diligent as any of my dogs while trying to dig a hole, I'd be making movies. Does that sound like my agents dug holes? Well they did! Long ago, when I was very, very young, Native Americans and other tribes in the wild did indeed use dogs as working animals, like mules. Obviously this was before unions. They domesticated wild dogs and wolves and eventually we came to know the more domesticated dogs we have today, although I'm not quite sure how the poodle fits into all of this. However, dogs still work. There are bomb sniffing dogs, drug sniffing dogs, trackers, therapy dogs, seeing eye dogs, seizure predicting dogs, security dogs, sled dogs, dogs that perform tasks for the disabled, movie and tv dogs, and the list goes on. I think the expression “work like a dog” reflects their utter commitment to the job at hand. Sleep like a log, on the other hand, now where the hell did that come from?
Dear Elayne, My daughter is an only child, and all she has ever wanted was a dog. I have terrible allergies, but now that she is twelve, we decided to give it a try. We rescued a wheaten/basenji mix. She definitely needs training, but I take my allergy medicine, and my husband and I have fallen in love with her. Unfortunately, my daughter has not. How do we handle this? If we're not going to keep her, we don't want to get even more attached, but how do we know when to give up? C.R., Santa Clarita Dear C.R., Well, if you're not going to keep her, you need to give her up right away. Twelve is already old for a child to get adopted, and if you wait any longer, she might not be cute any more. On the other hand, you could keep her around to help with the housework. Okay, your only child is used to being the only little girl you and your husband love, and now she has a feeling of jealousy and competition that is new to her. Make your daughter part of the training process. This will give her an emotional connection to your doggie and a feeling of accomplishment. Let your daughter warm up to your dog at her own pace, don't force them on each other. (It took me about a year to really get into “Six Feet Under.”)Your daughter may be slower to form close ties as she is used to being the center of attention in your home, but this is a wonderful opportunity for her to become outer directed, to learn patience, compassion, and sharing; all very important attributes for a successful life in the future.
Dear Elayne, I have a five year old shih tzu named Noodle. She has recently begun to develop deep red grooves under her eyes. They look awful. Is there any way to treat that? Noodle's Mom, N.J. Dear Noodle's Mom, The same thing happened to me when I got hooked on the Home Shopping Network. Luckily, they sold a fabulous seaweed cream that was guaranteed to eliminate those unsightly lines, as well as tighten the skin and get rid of cellulite, for only three easy payments of $29.95. Help! Somebody slap me! Some dogs do seem to develop those red grooves as they get older. I haven't found anything that eliminates them completely, but I do find that when your dog is sleepy and calm, keeping a warm washcloth on the spots seems to soften them. It's hard to recommend a cream since it's so near the eye, but if you can manage a very small amount of Panalog, and make sure it is not close to the eye, that acts as a moisturizing healer. If your dog starts to paw at it, wash it off immediately so it's not swept into her eyes. You might also try a tiny, tiny dab of Bach Flower Remedies Rescue Remedy cream, available at some health food stores. I find it's good for almost everything. Finally, you'll just have to tell Noodle that she'll have to make the switch from ingénue to character roles, sigh.
Dear Elayne, Animal Planet's new reality show, “Who Gets the Dog”, is appalling. They pull a dog out of an L.A. shelter, shuffle it around for 3 days to 3 families (24 hours each, confusing the dog), then a panel decides who gets the dog. The only safeguard it offers the dog: "You must not have been convicted of a felony, or cruelty to animals. You must be ready, willing and able to adopt and care for the dog, and you must be approved by the HSUS and pass their screening process”. Please encourage your readers to make their feelings known to Animal Planet at http://extweb.discovery.com/viewerrelations A Rescuer Dear Rescuer, Appalling is right! To take one of the millions of abandoned/abused shelter dogs waiting to be killed, give him three days of doting, treats, food, cuddles, by dog loving people who do things like give him a bath, let him sleep in bed, and then at the end of this ordeal let him live in the home best suited with already devoted people is horrible. Readers, please email Animal Planet immediately and beg them to expand this show to seven nights a week. That's 365 more lives saved a year. Confusion? The last dog we rescued stayed in four different foster homes (and a garage) for months before there was room in a rescue cage. No rescue or shelter does the thorough HSUS vetting of adopters this show requires. The producer and panelists are a dedicated group of animal lovers, including Merrill Markoe, a champion of rescue dogs (of late, mom to four rescued pound dogs) the entire twenty seven years I have known her. She signed on as a way “to show there are great dogs waiting at the shelter”. As an antidote to the Westminster Dog Show, puppy mill pet stores and breeders, this show champions ADOPTING and RESCUING from the POUND. Please show your support.
I am so frustrated. I rescued a dog from a Los Angeles organization. I need to get the dog enrolled in training classes, as well as updated on shots if necessary. The trouble is, I don't know because I can't get the adoption papers from this woman, who seems to be a flake. I can't get the shot records, and I don't want to just get shots again since you're not supposed to over vaccinate dogs. Plus, Petco won't let me enroll in classes without an updated shot record, and this dog needs to be trained or we're not going to keep him. No wonder people go to pet stores, what's wrong with these rescuers? No Name, L.A. Dear N.N., I understand your frustration and beg your patience. What's wrong with rescuers is that they are overwhelmed, understaffed, under funded, and constantly swamped. Every day brings a new life and death emergency, and this isn't even sweeps week on network tv. Without them, thousands more healthy young adoptable animals would be killed each year, so we need to cut them some slack. Maybe if you drove back over there, and offered to find your pets' papers, and perhaps sorted out the piles of documents undoubtedly piled up, and maybe even offered to volunteer even an hour a week, it would contribute more than you could possibly imagine to the rescuers fighting in the trenches every day. Thank you for rescuing, and thanks for your patience and understanding.
My lab mix is twelve, and is on Rymadyl twice a day, glucosamine, gets acupuncture once a week and a shot of Adequan every month, all for arthritis. He can't walk up steps anymore but can at least walk. My doctor wants to operate on his hips and says it will extend his life. What do you think? Andrea, San Diego Dear Andrea, Well, I'm not a fan of non-emergency surgery at such an advanced stage of life. Look what it did to Joan Rivers! He's twelve, he's walking, you are doing everything you can to keep him going. Personally, I would try to cut down on the Rymadyl as it can be deadly, but you are doing everything right, and twelve is already a nice long run. I would ask my doctor if the new BMW 530i has any bearing on his offer to operate on a twelve year old dog.
My little pug Harny is having trouble going up stairs, and he is becoming incontinent. We don't know exactly how old he is as we rescued him, but he is at least ten. My vet wants to do an MRI. This will cost about twelve hundred dollars, and then what will that tell us anyway? We want to give him every chance to be well, do you think an MRI would help him? C.H., CA Dear C.H., Yes, an MRI would definitely help him. Your vet, that is. The stock market is making gains and twelve hundred dollars would buy some good gold futures. I have gotten more pragmatic after many years of dog guardianship, especially since learning that the life expectancy of a boxer can be about fifty thousand dollars if you let it. An MRI would probably set you on a course of treatment for Harny's advancing age; physical therapy, perhaps a short stint on Prednisone for the bowel, some hind quarter massage when you're sitting at home, and gentle but consistent walks. You can do that now, and use the twelve hundred dollars for some acupuncture if it seems to help, some glucosamine/condroitin to add to his food, and some toys and treats to make him happy.
I notice that you and the “animal rights” people put all this time and effort into animals, and don't give a (damn) about children. Anonymous Dear A, That's right.
Palm Beach Post Elayne, because we have done such a good job of exposing the cruelties of the murderous greyhound racing industry, the tracks were finally becoming obsolete. Putting in slot machines will of course revive them, and tens of thousands of greyhounds will continue to suffer and be killed each year due to the now artificially propped up industry. I will keep you up to date on our legal challenge to the questionable election results. Thanks for your support. Alicia Dear Grey2K USA , Your work on behalf of greyhounds is amazing, and I share your horror at the possible passing of this bill. If they had put slot machines at Auschwitz , that might still be open too. Readers, I implore you to take a look at these websites: http://www.grey2kusa.org for the FACTS about greyhound racing. I love going to Florida , but if they pass this abhorrent measure, I will not put another penny into the state's coffers. And I would urge everyone to not only boycott the state, but join an email campaign to let them know they will be losing more money than this measure will bring them. I will spearhead that if it becomes necessary due to the final election results, and I hope everyone will sign on. The only way Arizona was convinced to enact a Martin Luther King, Jr., day, when they were the last state not to have honored him, was for conventions to start canceling their trips to Arizona . They had to, to keep a good public face on their companies. We need to start the same kind of nationwide appeal if it becomes necessary. We have learned the hard way, only money talks.
Dear Elayne, About your column in the Sept./Oct. Pet Press, Arm & Hammer is on PETA's list of companies that do test on animals. You can see the list at:
Best, regards, Dear Readers, This is the letter to which Kristine is referring:
Dear Elayne, I wanted you to give a shout out to Arm & Hammer. I saw their commercial on tv where a woman says something like, “First we went to the shelter and got our cat…” I was blown away. It seems like the idea of rescuing is finally making it into the mainstream. People now say “We rescued Fido” instead of “Fido has papers!!” Three Dog Mom Dear TDM, Fido is a funny name for a cat, but aside from that, a big thank you to Arm & Hammer. I will now buy their baking soda, even though I can't bake, and keep it in my fridge, my shoes, my purse, and I will brush my teeth with it. They join Kodak, Range Rover and VISA in making commercials that send a positive animal rescue message. It took months to get the Nike pitbull fighting commercial pulled, and even the HSUS couldn't sway them any sooner. What this means is, it's very important that we let these companies know we support what they are doing by writing a quick note of thanks, as well as telling them we are buying their products. It's equally important to not only boycott spots/shows harmful to animals, but to let the companies know it. I've never been impressed by papers for dogs, although I do love it when my Labrador reads me articles of interest. And I have to admit both my dogs love reading Get Fuzzy and Mutts. So, to answer Kristine, she is right to support a continued boycott of companies that test on animals, including Arm & Hammer. But boycotting is not enough, we need to let them know about it. We need to thank them for the positive commercial, and then tell them we're still not buying until they stop the testing. Thanks for pointing out my mistake Kristine, it is much appreciated.
We have a 10 year old male Springer Spaniel named Oskar. When we take Oskar out for his evening walk, he picks up garbage (literally) and eats it. Or he picks up stray bones from someone's dinner the night before. What can we do? Use a muzzle to stop him from doing this? Thanks, Dear Cindy, I thought I saw a sign on the 101 saying “This Highway Adopted by Oskar”. I'd say your neighbors need more training than your dog (dinner bones from the night before?). If he's ten this apparently is a new behavior. Here's something better than a muzzle, it's called a leash, and you get to control it. Put Oscar on one end of the leash, you hold the other. When he heads for that day old bread, give him a firm tug and say “No!” Then reel him in and quickly march him past the garbage. In a loud voice say “BAD neighbors! SLOPPY neighbors!” Repeat as often as necessary. Dogs are smart. Soon Oskar will start seeing the street garbage as something to be avoided. It may take your neighbors a little longer. Dear Readers, I wanted to post this tribute to one of the most wonderful doctors, and humans, I have ever known. Elayne May 24, 2004 Dear Client, I, Dr. Paul Jackson, have been absent from Animal Eye Specialists for the past six months due to a diagnosis of life-threatening, metastatic cancer. With profound sadness it has become apparent I will be unable to return there in the foreseeable future. This conclusion was necessitated by progressive illness. To each of you I express my sincere appreciation for your kindness, friendship and loyalty. These have enriched my life. I am eternally grateful. Dr. Paul Jackson, DVM, DACVO Dear Dr. Jackson, It is we who are eternally grateful. Thank you for your gentle, caring manner in the most vulnerable of times. Thank you for your caution in curing the worst of ailments with a patient course of applied eye drops and salves, avoiding major and dangerous surgeries others said were necessary. Thank you for waiting for us last new years eve afternoon. I had gotten lost on the way to your office, it was late, everyone in the city was home preparing for their evenings out. I called, frantic. Your staff was out the door, but they came back and you stayed on the phone and guided me to your office so my dog could get help, avoid further damage. New years! I don't believe you charged me for that visit either. Thank you for always making it affordable for rescues, and people without much money, to get the very, very best of care. I was always jealous that my dogs had a better doctor than I would ever find for myself. Your unbelievable gentleness in handling the most skittish of animals and worried parents is what stays with me; the softest speech, the gentlest touch, the kindest humor. Dr. Jackson, I hope you are now on the receiving end of the care you have spent your life giving others. You are the most wonderful human being, and all of us, people and four leggers alike, wish you the gentleness, love, kindness and consideration you have so graciously bestowed for your whole, meaningful, wonderful life. With love, thank you. OKAY EVERYBODY, TIME TO GO TO THE PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Copyright Brooklyn Productions, Inc. 2003-2006 |