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I
tried to get on the airplane, and they took away my dental floss.
Who am I tying up? Calista Flockhart?
Elayne Boosler
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From the Internet The following ad was in SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy. Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an 8-week old Labrador.
************************************************************************************* From the Internet Notice to People Who Visit My Home 1. The dog lives here...you don't. 2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. 3. Yes, he has some disgusting habits. So do I. So do you. So - what's your point? 4. Of course he smells like a dog. 5. It's his nature to try to sniff your crotch. Please feel free
to sniff 6. I like him a lot better than I like most people. 7. To you he's a dog. To me he's an adopted son, who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, doesn't speak clearly, and hates cats. I have no problem with any of these things. 8. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money
all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never
drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't smoke
or drink, don't worry NOTE: SPAY AND NEUTER!! |
Congress doesn't want to outlaw
automatic weapons because they say it might infringe on some hunting weapons.
I think if you need a hundred rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't
your sport.
Elayne Boosler
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Elayne's Favorite Cartoons
(Reprinted Without Permission)
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